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How can I change tabbed chat display in Windows Live Messenger. I want to stop new chat tab notification when a new friend begins to chat with me.

Windows Live Messenger
Windows Live Messenger has been through numerous incarnations, so depending on which version you're using, the tabbed chat notifications may be slightly different. In general, whenever you want to change a preference in Windows Live Messenger, you'll want to go to the Options dialog box.
Windows Live Messenger Options
To go to options, either look for the tiny "gear" icon and click it or go to Tools > Options. This will open a dialog box containing various options for: Personal, Sign In, Contacts, Messages, History, Notifications, Sounds, Mobile Phone, Privacy, and Connection.
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First, let's start with Messages. Here you'll see a section labeled Conversations. Find the "Enable tabbed conversations" and remove the checkmark from the box. Click OK. If you're using Windows Plus! Live, click on Plus! and then select "Preferences and Options." From there, go to the Conversations tab followed by Tabbed Chat. Choose disable and click OK.
Windows Live Messenger Notifications
In addition to disabling tabbed conversations, you may want to tweak your notifications. This is done in Tools > Options > Notifications. Depending on what you have in mind, you can enable or disable notifications for a variety of circumstances including: when a favorite signs in, when a friend signs in, when you receive an IM, when you receive an email with a social update, when you receive an email, when you sign into Messenger from multiple locations, when you receive a group IM, and more.
Hopefully by disabling tabbed chats and tweaking your notification settings, you'll be able to use Windows Live Messenger in a manner that works best for you.
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